Too True, Too Often

Yesterday I was watching this series on tv, Grey's Anatomy (one of my favorite series). They were actually showing the very last episode of Season 6. This episode is about a shooter who simply shoots surgeons in the hospital to get revenge on his wife's death. In previous episode, Derek, Dr. Webber (the chief) and Lexie are the one who unplugged the shooter's wife from the machine. Then this episode comes to a point where the shooter is left with one bullet which he has to choose to shoot Dr. Webber or to kill himself. And when it comes to the end, Derek voiceover "Human life is made up of choices, live or dead, that's the important choice...and it's not always in our hands" 

I found this sentence is too true and too often it's really not always in our hands. Life is full with choices. The choices you made, makes you. But how often that the choices you make is what you want? Derek is a surgeon, he's supposed to save life but yet he's the one that decide to unplug the machine. Is that what he wants? All the while the shooter was trying to get revenge for his wife, but when he is left with one bullet, instead of killing Dr. Webber, he choose to kill himself. He killed so many innocent life, but end up he failed to kill his enemy? 

Too often that we plan our life. We plan what to study, we plan what to work, we plan when to get married and we even plan what kind of partner we want to get. But how often all these go the way you want? LOL~ (I'm smiling when I wrote this! Don't ask me why XP) Well, I'm not saying that things that does not go the way you planned is not good. Sometimes it even goes way much better than you planned. Right? Then why plan? No matter how good is your plan, there are still things that happened to block your way and that's what we called "Obstacles of Life". Annoying huh?

What I'm trying to say here is, since life is so decisive, so many choices to choose, but we don't know it's right or wrong, why don't we just let it be? Why don't we just let things happen the way it will be? Even if you made a choice, how often it's right? If it's meant to be correct, then it will be. If it's not, what can you do? Regret? Cry? Blame each other? What else? To me, I hate to make choices. I will never know what's in front of me. No matter how perfect my plan will be, who can guarantee me that my plan will work? No one can! End up, it's still not you that make that choice too. 

I'm not sure you get what I mean. But yet, I guess this sentence "Human life is made up of choices, live or dead, that's the important choice...and it's not always in our hands" is just too true and too often is not just only about live or dead. It's about everything. 

Grenade ♥

Easy come, easy go
That's just how you live, oh
Take, take, take it all,
But you never give
Should of known you was trouble from the first kiss,
Why were they open?
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked,
Cause what you don't understand is
I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby;
But you won't do the same


No, no, no, no
Black, black, black and blue beat me till I'm numb
Tell the devil I said “hey” when you get back to where you're from
Mad woman, bad woman,
That's just what you are, yeah,
You’ll smile in my face then rip the breaks out my car
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, yes you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked
Cause what you don't understand is
I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby;
But you won't do the same


If my body was on fire, ooh
You’ d watch me burn down in flames
You said you loved me you're a liar
Cause you never, ever, ever did baby...
But darling I’ll still catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby;
But you won't do the same.
No, you won’t do the same,
You wouldn’t do the same,
Ooh, you’ll never do the same,
No, no, no, no

=(

Woke up early in the morning feeling not so happy. I slept quite early yesterday thinking I can sleep all my emoness away and skip whatever that happened but it didn't. They are still here. When will all these stop following me? Sometimes I feel the world is being unfair and cruel but I make myself believe that life surely has it's ups and downs. 


Honestly, the moment I wake up, something comes into my mind and automatically tears flow down to my cheeks. Why do life has so many choices? And have you ever face this problem which when there's choices, you can never get what you want and when it comes to final decision, you can never get to choose. Eventually, someone will make the choice for you. Where's the freedom? Don't you think it's unfair? It's my decision and why can't I do it my way? And it end up whether with choices or not, the decision is still not mine. 


Everyone complained that I've cared too much. I care what people said, I care what people think and I even care about how they feel more than I feel. And that's why I'm undergoing this. I rather take all to myself than hurting others. am I being silly? Or I'm being too good? But right now it's all too burden..too burden until I can feel the pressure. I'm just living the way to please others and I hate this, but still I'm doing it! Wtf~


In my life..I can hate people judging me. I always think that no one can ever judge you except you because only you yourself know what's in you. Only you know what suits you, what you are feeling and what you are doing. Please don't force me to do things that you like. How about things that I like? When comes to things that I like, I've to choose to let go, but when it comes to things I don't like, I've to choose to have it. WHY?? Do you know what I want?


My mind can be very mixed up now, so do my heart. People ask me to listen to my heart and not to my mind but right now I don't even have a clear heart and don't talk about clear mind. Why am I standing at this point again? Why do I turn back? Or is it actually I've never escape before? Do I get to choose this time around? Will I get what I want? Or there's only one choice? =((((((

♥ I can have...

What do I have nowadays? I can have a lot that belongs to me. I do appreciate all that I have now but there are some selections which I appreciate a bit more than the others. They provide me love, accompany me when I'm down and they bring me happiness and entertainment. Not to forget, last year has been a "so so" year to me, but it has brought some changes which I can have right now =) Okay! Let's see what I have all the while...

♥ My BABY car!

Jen jen jeng!!I LOVE my baby very much. I know I've been a dirty Mummy which I did not keep my baby clean all the time but I still LOVE you! Well, those who knows me, should know I love driving a lot but it does not mean I like to be a driver! LOL~ I just love driving myself at night on a quiet road which I can listen to my heart most of the time! =) It's a good way to relax my mind and most of the time, that's when I make decision! I just love the accompanies of my Baby and he will be turning THREE this year! =D

I need to take more photos of my BABY! ♥

♥ My DARLING Lappie!

My lappie bring me lots of entertainment..I bought her during my final year of my studies which makes her around two years old right now. She helps me to do my work, play games and most important..I started this blog of mine with her! =) Without her I can't Facebook, tweets, plurk and watch my movies! I can't live a day without switching her on~ XD Well, she might be having some sickness currently but I will make sure she will recover real soon!

My DARLING! ♥

♥ My bunch of JIMUIs

Well, nothing much to talk about them as I've already blog them out. I know them since my studies in UKM. I always believe is destiny that brought us together which I think it's a great plan from GOD. It's fate that make us all stay on the same floor and having Choon joining us is a fate too. Without Choon, we will be like Happy Meals without a toy or fries or drinks or whatever! Without her, it makes us incomplete! Although I don't know them for long but I guess we know each other quite well. =) I just want to thank all of them for being by my side all the while sharing my sadness and happiness. You girls keep me strong and I really appreciate all of you! LOVE~

I can only find this photo which have all of us in it. We must really party more! ♥

Well, God has treat us fair enough..there are times we have to lose something but without losing you will never gain something new. Last year, I've lost few important things in me but I've found more than what I've lost. Losing them makes me appreciate even more on what I've right now. 

♥ My HONEY Handphone!

I lost my previous handphone in a snatch thief case =( I don't really mind losing the handphone but I'm sad because I lost all the contacts inside! Instead of buying a new handphone, sis gave me hers! (And she go get herself Iphone! So unfair! XD) Right now, I'm using Sony Ericsson Satio. Although is not the kind of phone that I want but as long it keeps me connected I'm happie enough! =D Now, I can skype, whatsapp, facebook, twitter and plurk anytime! And this is the reason why I appreciate it even more! Muahaha~ XD

This is my HONEY! ♥

♥ My Privacy!

Hmm..other than my Baby..I can also find my own privacy in my ROOM! Nope..not in Seremban but in Serdang!! =) Although I don't spend much time in my room because of work, but once I'm back home, my room is my first priority! I will lock myself in the room, off all the lights and turn on my Darling! And that's what you call ROOM ALONE? haha..Recently, I've change the positions of my bed, tables and everything in the room but still, it looks messy! XD Here's a photo of it! 

My messy room! ♥

♥ My HAIR

Haha..I can have a new hairstyle since last year. From long I've cut it short. Erm..I do always trim my hair but if you saw me changing my hairstyle into a very different look, then I think you better come to me and ask me what happened! XP Whenever bad things happened, I will make a change in myself. I believe by changing myself, I can have a new me and a new start by leaving the bads behind. everyone has their own way to make themselves better and THAT'S ME!! =P I know it's ridiculous but that's what I make myself believe! =D 

My previous hairstyle..not very long..but counted as long! =)

And this is my latest photo of my latest hairstyle! Which one better? =D

♥ My New COMERS!

I can have new friends!! Last year I get to met a lot of new friends. Or maybe I should say new colleagues?=D Which now they have turn into my best buddies ever! Well, some didn't turn out good but so what? Let them be and I still love with what I have! They support me all the way until now no matter what. They know me well and they keep me happy all the time! I'm glad to know them and right now I miss them tonnes! Thanks for the cares and the enjoyments that we have gone through..I will keep you all in my heart..always! ♥

Welcome to my LIFE! ♥

Ans not to forget this two kiddo! ♥

So all the above are my most valuable assets in my life. Can't afford to lose any of them. So please stay close to me and I will always love you all! *muacks* Anyway..I still hope I can get more than what I have right now..GREEDY me!XD LOL~