A Letter For MYSELF ♥ - The Repeats

Dear Whosoever,


It used to be the best time of my life,
Seeing the green grass and the ocean blue,
Time seems not to be the matter,
As I enjoyed every second with you,
But now,
The world measures moments in the measures of time,
What has been taking over?


My heart speaks softly,
Reminiscing the past time,
How many times do I need to convince myself,
Letting myself know it's a dream after all,
The world has never been cruel,
It's just me that wouldn't answer that call.


Life is simple?
Keep it simple?
These are just words to keep me moving,
But in reality?
Nothing is simple unless you are perfect,
And when it's perfect, nothing is real,
So stop making excuses and face the facts,
It's either you give or you take,
There's nothing that called "fair".


Well, I've chose my path,
As I believe nothing is equal,
Wishing that I made the right one,
Avoid myself getting hurt for the same old reason,
But stop! My heart just skipped a beat,
And I guess it just happened again,
Broken heart is just like broken ribs,
The pain cannot be seen,
But it hurts every time you breath.
How long more do I need to take this?

Living under my shadow.

Do you ever feel like you are disappearing? Taking a step back in everything you do? Missing the best smile that you had all the time? Gotten so scared until you don't dare to let anyone in? I've always know that I've to do what's right for me even if it hurts some people I love, but I've always been living under my own shadow. 

There's this reason why I've been living under my shadow. It's not that I thought I will be happy to be the same 24/7, but it was because I thought if I ever let someone in and it fell apart again and this time I might not make it. It's easier to stay to this me now because what if I let them in and I learn that I need them but I actually cant have them? What if suddenly I like them and lean on them? What if they shape their life around it? Can I survive from that kind of pain again? The pain of losing is like dying..the only difference is death do comes to an end but the pain of losing..it could go on forever. 

So, to keep me alive under this shadow of mine, I can only go on accepting things that happened around me, no matter how hard it is because I'm afraid of losing. To avoid losing, I can only choose to change. It's either I adapt to the changes or I get left behind, losing everything. There is always this little moment that I wish I'm alone even without my shadow so that I can stop pleasing the changes and enjoy the silence. But when I'm all alone, there's this small buzz in my head asking me to run out from my shadow. And then, things are like repeating all over again. Back to square, I can't run out from my shadow because I don't want to lose. And when I get the whole picture of my life, all I can do is, stop trying to plan my life instead I can only live it and see where it leads me. 

followyourmindorlistentoyourheart?

The HEART : Heart is always the most important organ in the entire human body. It pumps blood. It brings oxygen to entire parts of body. It gives us heartbeats. It lets you feel what's love and most people or I should say that everyone used to connects heart to LOVE. 

The BRAIN : The brain is the human body's most mysterious organ. It learns. It changes. It adapts. It tells us what we see, what we hear. It lets us respond and most of all I think it  holds our soul. And brain is what we always called as our MIND.

But do you usually follow what your mind says? Or do you listen to your heart? Do you LOVE with your heart? Or do you love with your mind? We often hear people says that they love with their whole heart. And they never mention about their mind.

Okay. Here comes what I'm trying to say...HEART TRANSPLANT. We all know that heart transplant is that one completely loses his heart and be replaced by someone else. Right? So when the heart is being replaced, does it mean that he stops loving or he can starts loving someone else since it's not the heart that he used to love her? Agree?

Well, this proves that love actually works in the mind of people and not in their hearts because no matter how many heart transplant a person undergo, yet he can still has the same feelings for the same person he or she loves. Bottomline is, LOVE is a state of MIND. So tell me, do you still love with your whole heart? Or you love with your brain? LOL! Listen to your heart? Or follow what your mind says? You decide.

Fairy Tales

We all remember the bed time stories of our childhoods. The shoe that fits Cinderella, the frog that turns into a prince, sleeping beauty is awakened by a kiss and all those once upon a time and they lived happily ever after fairy tales. So what's the big deal about it? Well, the deal is..FAIRY TALES DON'T COME TRUE. And that is why it's called FAIRY TALES. 

But the thing is, it's hard to let go of that little fairy tales entirely although you-know-it's-not real, because almost everyone has that little thing in their heart called FAITH and HOPE that they would open their eyes and their dreams will come true! Hmm? Doubt that? Well, FAITH is actually one funny thing. At least to me it's a joke because, most of the time it only turns up when you less expect it! I do understand that people shall keep some dreams in them..( or else faith is nothing )..and then HOPE comes along. Waiting that "happily ever after" to happen but wait! Happily ever after might happen...ermm...maybe once in a blue moon..but the real thing is..you are actually facing the worse NIGHTMARE! 

Like I said, fairy tales don't come true. The ones that always come true is the nightmare. The nightmare that will surprise you and once in awhile it takes your breath away! Nightmare that always seem to become the reality. Fairy tales huh? The one that begin with singing with the birds under the best sunshine and POOF! suddenly it ended with the dark and stormy nights! Now that's what I called the REALITY! At least that's what I'm facing currently...........falling into some "fairy tales" of mine.