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Sunday, August 19, 2012

How well do I know myself?

Just some crap before I head to bed. I have been thinking quite a lot these few days. People around me sees me happy as I'm putting on my smiles, pretending things are going on very well for me. But who knows, behind those smiles, what I'm going through is putting me into a dilemma. Nowadays, I really don't know what I want, what's right, what's wrong, what should be done or what I should not be doing. Maybe things are getting complicated.

I'm someone who love to question. 'What if this, What if that??" And this leads me to do a stupid mistake by asking a question which I already know the answer and this answer will definitely disappoint me but yet I still ask for it. I don't know why I have such urge in me. It's like you are trying to test your heart, wondering how strong your heart can be when you get the answer. Hmmm...does this happened to anyone out there? Or is just me? 

Have you guys ever go through a situation that you are very angry at one person on his/her action but at the same time you are actually blaming yourself instead of putting the blame on that person? I did. The next thing I know I'm actually angry at myself. Then, I cried on my stupidity. I often tell myself that when one door closes, there's always a window open for me. I always believe that as life is full with choices, it's just about what you choose and which way you want. I wouldn't say that I regret on any of the choices I made as I'm happy with whatever i get today. But right now, the situation is, you know you are heading into a hole, but you still want to go for it. And  the interesting part is, the road to the hole is wayyyyyy toooooooo bumpy. I think that's what they called "THE UPS AND DOWNS"

Anyway, that's all on my stupidity crap on my blog. It's late and I shall sleep. Happy Raya Day! Enjoy the holidays! =) ♥

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