What If?

All the time we question ourselves, asking "what if" . We never know the answer to these type of questions but that's why we just have to take a leap of faith. That's what life is all about. Right now, sitting in the room all alone, I'm having millions of "What If" in my thoughts.

What If
I lived everyday like it was all not that mattered?
What If
Everything around me is just an illusion?
What If
Simplicity was the default in my life?
What If
I decided to set myself apart from the crowd?
What If
I turned out to choose to leave?
What If
I just ignore everyone around me and live the way that I want?
What If
I do not care what people thinks and do whatever I like?
What If
I just ignore all the choices I have and walk my way through?
What If
I act dumb and just accept whatever it is?
What If
Pleasing is not necessary in life?
What If
There's no such thing as important?
What If
You and Me is all I want?
What If
I get to choose the answer for the above What If?

I guess I will never know, not until it happens..And when it happened, I will start thinking "What If I could turn back time?"

A Letter For MYSELF ♥ - Bare with it!

Dear Whosoever,

There's always various choices to be made,
There's pro and there's con,
There's happy and there's sad,
But along with the bad,
There's always some good.

Some people don't acknowledge that,
And I think we should,
No matter what choices you made,
Just hang in there like what I said,
As pain is not what you only take.

There's always a reason why you made that choice,
You could think that they might not have a clue,
But what's going through,
You are the only one who knew.

Whatever you are going through,
Stay tough, Stay strong and be true,
Life still goes on like a race,
Keep it real, face it real,
And there's nothing to be afraid.

Always remember there's something you will gain whenever you lose,
Although usually lesson is what you get and that's what we have always go through,
Sometimes life does not go the way you want,
Bare with it and never feel sorry with it,
As it will all be over soon,
It's just the time that matters to you.

So don't mope around,
Bare with it and stay within,
As hope is always around, waiting for you to be found.

=)

Avril Lavigne

~♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥~

Hmm....enough of my life. Let's move on to Avril Lavigne's life! She's been my idol since her first album and the song I love most from her "Let Go" album is Sk8er Boi! Love it!! ♥ And she was only 17 when her first album is out! Oh well..here are some of her biodata..

Her Birth Name : Avril Ramona Lavigne

Date Of Birth : 27th September 1984

Origin : Napanee, Ontario, Canada

Occupations : Singer, Songwriter, Actress and Fashion Designer

Genres : Pop rock - Pop punk

Name of Albums : 1) Let Go (2000-2003)

                            2) Under My Skin (2004-2005)

                            3) The Best Damn Thing (2006-2008)

                            4) Yet to know but hopefully it will be out by this year! (2009-present)

When Avril first out to society, she was known for her tomboyish style, in her necktie and tank-top combinations. She preferred baggy clothes, skater shoes especially Converses and wristbands. LOL! During photo shoots, she preferred wearing old and crumpled T-shirts. She always has her own style and that's what I like her most! She's the best POP PUNK PRINCESS!! I'm impressed when every artist busy dressing up in glittering night gown or dress while she just put on her T-shirts and sneakers and walk through the red carpet! She ROCKS!!

Oh well, she began to date on of the lead singer and guitarist from band SUM 41, Deryck Whibley when she's 19! On 27th June 2005, Deryck finally proposed to her and their wedding was held in California on 15th July 2006! But sadly, on 17 September 2009 Avril and Deryck had split up and today are the date they officially DIVORCED! ugh~ Well, it lasted for about 3 years? hhmmmm....

She even acted in few movies..You guys can check it out. "Sabrina, the teenage witch. Going the distance. Fast Food Nation. Over the Hedge (voice of Heather). The Flock"

Here is the video that I like most from her first album, Sk8er Boi!

And this has been one of my favorite since the album is out! "My Happy Ending" from "Under My Skin"

Oh ya! You guys can also check her out on her website! http://www.avrillavigne.com/

Questions??

I can hate questions nowadays! What? Why? Who? When? How? ARGH! Can you all stop questioning? Is that necessary? I'm fed up with all the questions. =( These few days I've been facing some questions "asker"? Is that what you called them? Whatever! And guess what? I've even group them into three different categories!

The "INNOCENT" group!

I've came across some "asker" who I will call them innocent and I won't blame them for what their asking. Maybe they are just curious or afraid or even not secure with their surroundings and force them to come out such questions. Let me give you an example: 

You bump into a friend while you are having lunch. You were busy eating and he/she can come to you and ask "Eating arh?" I was like "DUH!" Isn't it obvious I'm eating? Do I look like I'm climbing or jumping? Oh well, that's just an example..there's another story behind actually! I think I better keep it P&C! XD

The "so-called" Mother group!
This group is the one that I hate most! They question you like they never talk before! Why you didn't go? Where you went? Who's there? What time you leave? You eat what? Nonstop questions! They can even go much more details! And when you throw back one simple question to them, they can be speechless! "Why do you ask so much?" And they can sound lovely and say " Because I care about you!" . Sounds caring huh? But it's actually annoying. I've already got a mother back home who can question me 24 hours a day and I don't need another mum to do so. I've got only one 24 hours in a day! So thanks for the care! =D

The "Prisoner" group!

Oh well, this group actually represent my MUM! Why are you still up so late? Why are you still in the office? Why still don't want to sleep? Why so late still not back home? Why this? Why that? ARGH! I'm not trying to complain but sometimes Mumz just need to understand that sometimes there are things are not avoidable. When you've got work to do, for work sake, of course I need to do. I did not stay up late for no purpose. Things come with reasons and I hope you can understand it before shooting me with those questions. And when I answer, I truly answer from my heart as deep down I know you care. Please don't think that I'm just answering for the sake of answer. Sometimes all we need is freedom and  some space to be alone. I know you care and we care too! *huggies*

Sigh! Everyone ask questions and the reason behind is "CARE". But how much do you all really care? Can you imagine that someone has already be burdened by problems and do you think by asking questions can lessen their burden? You will only make them feels more annoyed! Sometimes caring does not need to be question. Action does all. Action speaks louder than words! A hug or a simple pat on the shoulder or head is already enough. Or you can just sit beside them quietly to accompany them. They can feel the care from there. And that's what I need too! 

Confessions

I woke up at 8am in the morning today, finding myself stuck in the middle of nowhere. I stared at the ceiling, trying hard to read my heart, counting my heart beats and feeling the surrounds. And what comes into my mind? It was nothing. And then I found out, it's just another same old day, same old miserable day. It's been quite some time my heart couldn't feel any excitement, joys and happiness. And today i'm here to make some confessions!

Today while I'm waiting for my Baby Car to be fix, I'm sitting down alone looking at the busy road. Cars are busy racing around while people hassle up and down to get their things done. And suddenly I'm jealous for they know what their doing, what they are aiming and where they are going. At least they have their clear directions but where am I heading to? -MISERABLE-

And suddenly someone pat on my head from my back. I turned and I realize it's him. Then, a smile appeared and without hesitate I gave a hug. I miss you badly! (Yes, I'm talking about you) It's been around 7 years the last time I met you (I guess?) And I'm glad to have you back! And then I start to confess.

Confession #01 : I cried badly in my last outing and I was drunk.
He asked : Why? Anything bad happened?
I said : Nope. Nothing happen and it comes out all of sudden with no reason!
He said : Oh well! No worries. Sometimes you just have to do that to let go whatever inside of you and at least now you know the real feelings in you.
Me : =)

Confession #02 : I'm not me lately. I'm being fake to others.
He said : That's so not you!
I said : They started it!
He asked : Who?
Me : **********. But I'm not happy about it. And I'm sad and disappointed with myself too.
His advice : Don't do things that you don't want to do. Don't force yourself to be one of them. Be yourself. What goes around comes around. They should know what they did.
I said : mmmm...hhhmmmmm...

Confession #03 : I kept secret from my best friends and sometimes I even lie to them.
He asked : Does these secrets and lies related to your besties?
I said : Nope. It's all about me. I just don't want them to know.
He smiles : Well, there are times you have to give some space to yourself. It's not wrong as long as it does not harm anyone. Don't mind about it too much! It's your life and you've got your choice.
Me : Okay.

Confession #04 : I've lost my confidence and I don't know where to find it back.
Question : Lost confidence towards what?
Me : Everything. Love. Work. Friends. I feel miserable?
His advice : Don't concentrate on what is making you miserable. Concentrate on how you want to gain back your confidence and happiness. Instead of finding out the reason, why don't you just solve it? Rather than you stay miserable forever.
I asked : How? I don't want to lose any of them. I'm afraid I can't handle the feeling of losing them.
He said : I'm not asking you to give up on them. I'm sure there's always a second choice and you know it best. It's just that you don't want to choose that because you are much more afraid towards that compare to letting go. How bad can it be? You just have to try.
Me : Yea.

Confession #05 : (Well, it's something personal which is not suitable to post it here! XD)
His advice : Timing plays an important role. It's could be not right at this moment but how do you know that  it won't be right the next second? If you think it's worth it, give it a try! Listen to your heart. It knows what's best for you.
Me : Yeap. I'm listening. =)

That's the FIVE confession I made in front of him today and I'm glad I did that. By the way, I have confession #06!

Confession #06 : I just LOVE the way you give me a kiss on my forehead while hugging me before you leave. It's warm and that is what I need most at this moment! You came back for good! I just can't wait for you to be back again! *huggies* ♥♥♥♥♥

My real SMILE and I will get back to it soon! ♥

Hugs

HUGS in different languages :


Arabic - العنا\ق
Bulgarian - прегръдки
Chinese - 拥抱
Czech - objetí
Danish - knus
Finnish - haleja
French - câlins
German - Umarmungen
Greek - αγκαλιές
Italian - abbracci
Japanese - 抱擁
Korean - 안아
Norwegian - klemmer
Portugese - abraços
Romanian - îmbrăţişări
Russian - объятия
Spanish - abrazos
Swedish - kramar


What do you all understand by hugs? hhmmm....I don't know what you all think but hugs to me are something which not only involve physical touch but it's something that you can give out using your heart without any spoken words. A hug can say a thousand words, a hug can put things right again when everything seems wrong. A hug is actually a touch of heart! ♥


So, please remember to give me a hug the next time you see me. It might not mean anything to you but to me..it's EVERYTHING! *huggies*


Hug is placing your arms around them and give them a little squeeze,
Hug is not just a normal activity but it's a communication through heart,
Hug says a thousand words without a single spoken one,
Hug is something special which can bring natural smiles on the face,
Hug can put things right again when everything seems wrong,
Hug can feels like bears or butterfly wings,
Hug can warms your soul more than any earthly riches,
Hug sets a heart aglow when someone feelings low,
There's just no doubt about what a hug can do,
So stretch your arms without delay and give someone a hug today!


Oh well, that someone can always be me! ♥

Sweet November?

Well, at the start everyone comes to me and say November will be a sweet month. Everything will turn out good and fine and good luck eventually will come and look for me. Well, I guess all that will not happen to me at this mean time. This whole year has been a disaster to me. Maybe not the whole year, but at least for this few months. 

My first day of November has turn out to be a "burnt" November. My office caught on fire, a small one. The electrical box suddenly explode and thank God no one gets hurt on that day. We managed to get the fire out on time. And so the next day we cleaned up the whole office as we use powder kind of fire extinguisher. Oh well, at least we had fun on the cleaning day. 

After the cleaning session, I went to one of my colleague's house nearby my office to bath before attending dinner with everyone. On my way to her house, I received a call and so I talked on the phone while I'm driving without any hands free. And here comes the police in action. Bump into a police traffic and there it goes!Argh! And that's my bad luck #2 in two days.

Here comes the 3rd day of November. The worst day of all I think. I hope nothing will get worse than this day! I met a SNATCH THIEF! wtf! I was having dinner after a late training in my company. My colleagues, Bryan and David and I decided to eat nasi lemak in "Resaurant Sri Melur" in Puchong, one of the best nesi lemak. As usual, we sit outside the mamak at the roadside and I was sitting at the side with my back facing the main road.

At first we were distracted with a small accident which occur a few shop lots away from the mamak so we did not really pay attention with out surroundings. After a few minutes, our foods are served. Suddenly a motorbike came near me and Bryan tried to save me as he thought that motorbike wanted to bang me as they get so close to my seat. But actually they are aiming at my handbag! I was shocked as I did not know what happened and I only realize it when I looked back and found out my bag is gone! Three of us tried really hard to look at the plat number but the motorbike was quite old and the back light is quite dim (which I think they did it on purpose) and the road was quite dark and so we did not manage to get the number! All we could do was just stood there and stare at them taking my whole hand bag away!

If you know me well, I always bring my camera along for my blog purpose. And all my photos just disappear along with my hand bag. So do my handphone (I have two handphones with me), wallet (which only contains RM 10 ++ as I haven't withdraw any money from my bank) , pen drives, ATM cards, broadband, my medications and also my car key! Well, there are lots more inside but to me, my camera is the most important one! My memories!! Sigh! Curse that two Malay bastard for me! 

My sis went all the way back to hometown just to get the spare car key. And we ended up busy the whole night going in and out the police station..calling the bank card center, phone center and everything! ARGH! Tired night! The next day it's even much more busy as I need to apply a temporary identification card and also license!And I still haven't settle my bank card and my phone line! So much to do! I'm kind of phobia with motorbikes right now. =(

My advice here is please be much more careful with your bags and belongings and do not sit at any table outside of the restaurant. You could be their next target. I just hate SNATCH THIEF! Go get a life and don't destroy people's life!

Anyway, I would love to thank everyone who helped and accompany me that night. David, Bryan, Billy, Chloe, Cherlyn, Vivian, Glendon and especially Han Wei! He used one of his leave day just to accompany me settle all my personal cards! Thanks a lot to all of you!Oh well, not to forget those who care about me after the incident such as Sabby, Javerline, Giselle, Fong and lots more! Without you guys supporting me, I really don't know how to go through this incident! And to my Boss, I'm sorry that I brought so much troubles to you. And thanks for the care too! 

Anyway, I've lost my handphone that night so I hope to whoever that read my blog please contact me after today (as I will only apply back my line later in the evening), I need your numbers! Please call me or send me a message! Thanks!

*To those that I did not mention or I missed out in my blog above, I'm sorry as I did not do it on purpose. I just can't mention all at a time. Anyway, thanks to everyone who cares and who send me loves! =) *huggies*